Monday, June 20, 2011

Unconditional Love..Hmm I Don't think So

Well Today I dropped by around lunch time (GA time) to read a discussion started by Laura of Finding My Soul Mate Before I Retire held on MckMama  (which I thoroughly enjoyed by the way) entitled It's About Time regarding the treatment of GTL and the treatment there of.  You can read the thread for all the details. However what caught my attention was the use of  phrase Unconditional Love. I understand that there are people that sincerely believe that we can unconditionally love, but I do not. I feel that everyone have a condition to their love. By definition unconditional love is the not conditional limited strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties or attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers or affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interest  as quoted by Merriam-dictionary.  

I feel that all people have a limited or condition to their love. They may feel that they can love regardless, but when presented with certain situations, issues, or problems that unconditional love become conditional. For an example, parents state that they love their children unconditionally, that no matter what their children do they will always love them and this maybe true (according to their perception). However, there are things that our children do that will cause us to question this feeling, to wonder what occurred to challenge their feeling and this is their condition. These feelings usually occur when your core beliefs are truly challenged. Such would you love your children unconditionally if one child killed the other? What if you come upon the fact that one child molested your neighbor's child or your younger child? What if the child was in love with a sex, gender, or race that you don't approve? What if your child decides that your not worth their time anymore and disown you? Would you still love them unconditionally, to accept the child and his/hers decision without second thought? Or would you think about this and rationalize that you still love them but not their behavior?  

What about the unconditional love we suppose to have for our significant. Do we stay or go if the significant cheats (but whatever definition that we decide)? What if the significant brought home an unwanted visitor (child or disease)? And do we continue to love or significant if their physical body changes drastically, not just to big or little what if disabilities strike when your young not old? Do you still love when the person can't love when they can't love like the original agreement?

Even higher beings have condition to their love. Each religion provide a guide for what you have to do to gain favor in the higher beings sight. Yes, some state that your very existence is a proof of the unconditional love, but then state to continue to live in his favor you must follow and worship him (the condition). I'm not saying that this is wrong, I stating that life require conditions as well as love.

We as parents set these conditions when we instill our belief, rules (spoken and unspoken), values in our off spring. These are develop, passed down, and enforces by the conditions society and biology place on us. Unfortunately these conditions can not be avoided and if someone does these individuals are labeled a sinners, psychologically unstable, psychopaths, and social deviants.  

So lets stop fooling ourselves and accept that life have conditions as well as our love. What you think?


Karen Greenberg said...

Thanks for this interesting discussion on Blog Frog. I'm following you now!

Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

Good points my Dear MJ. Keep the gals of MckMama on their toes... Cups Up! xoxo

Crystal Mary said...

Unconditional love is when you truely don't ask for anything in return..
When you honestly love another, spouse, child...and you want to give and you don't wait to receive.It doesn't matter, its unimportant.

God's love of giving himself as a sacrifice for the world, was unconditional love.
So we who believe are saved by GRACE.
Now you may say, "So believing is the condition."
But I will then say, "what does it cost or hurt or harm to believe?"
The answer is, NOTHING! it is priceless.

If you never feel unconditional love for another, then its because you don't feel you have been given that divine agape eternal love.
It's because you have never experienced total acceptance.

Why don't you ask God to show you. He does love you, you know, unconditionally.

Rebecca Bany said...

I have to agree with Crystal Mary, the comment above mine.

Mentor James said...

@ Crystal Mary and Rebecca Bany..I can see why some may feel this way, but by definition it's a rarity not the norm for humans to love unconditionally. We all have conditions to the emotions we feel otherwise we would not know what we are feeling. People are taught/learn these emotions from their experiences they have and they developed their conditions for expressing these emotions.

And Yes believing is the condition for GOD's eternal GRACE as if you do not believe you will not spend eternity with him. It's not that I "don't feel that I have been given that divine agape eternal love" or "I have never experienced total acceptance." Because I have experience and do understand. It's just an understanding that GOD do love me but I am required to follow his laws to receive eternal peace because his love alone will not get me into heaven. If I choose not to worship him or any other higher being I will not receive the reward promised to me (The condition). Thanks for the response

Crystal Mary said...

Hello Brother, You say you know God loves you BUT...You Are Required to Follow His Laws...
Jesus reduced the Laws to one...LOVE..
If we were to follow the laws, then Jesus died for nothing...
In Romans 6:14 (NIV)We read...
"For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

We are no longer under the Law...but under Grace. So beautiful.
This doesn't mean we can go and kill and steal. God has written His laws on our hearts. We understand right from wrong, and hopefully we will do right. But should we do wrong, we can ask to be fogiven, NO SACRIFICE... we simply ask, believe and receive. And we are. This is the unconditional love, and yes, it is difficult to understand because we ourselves are still full of sin.
Ask God to show this to you. He will...He shows me so much and I am so amazed.
God Bless.

Sandra Kent said...

Great discussions. I've been asking myself what is unconditional love? The bible says love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. Wow just that statement covers a lot. How many times do I look at a person in a certain way because I'm remembering how they hurt me? The Bible teaches to think of things that are good and love is not easily offended. However you hear set your boundaries, don't be used, stand up for yourself. A leopard doesn't change its spots. The Bible teaches love never fails. I think of Mother Teresa who loved unconditionally the starving and needy in India. I'm thinking of people who have set an example of laying down their lives for others. I'm thinking of God's love for us that He sent His Son into the World as a sacrifice for our sins. I'm wanting to just receive God's love so I can give it to others.

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