Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Birds and the Bees. Equals Eggs Right?

We Agree that this NEVER happened  Right?!
I was having a conversation with one of my children as we walked through the store. He saw a mom and her little baby and the question of "where babies come from?" was asked.
I looked at the child and smile. "Well babies come from eggs"
"Eggs?" the child asked.
"Yes" I responded. "Eggs, all babies come from eggs."
Looking bewildered, "Oh then where are the eggs kept"
" Inside the mother." I answered.
I saw his little wheels turning as he was trying to wonder. " So how does she keep them from spoiling? Since Ma keeps them in the refrigerator at home.."

OK, I then begin trying to explain to the child how the eggs are stored differently for each mother and they only spoil when they aren't fertile.. but then I realized that I had lost him. He then saw a toy he wanted and changed the subject. Darn I missed my chance..I was a too complex with my response..

Now this brought me to think about Sex and how we as a nation, though very sexual open, still don't talk about it to our children as we should. Parents still have to give permission for their children to receive sexual education, but the same children are exposed to sex through television shows, the radio, the neighbor dogs, cats, and other animals, and told about it at school by their peers. Most people believe that the subject need to discussed by the parents, but when talking to the parent most haven't discussed, too afraid to discuss, or do not know where to start. I know most feel that this should be discussed but how and when is the right time?

My opinion is as soon as the child becomes to identify it's body parts and know the different between gender. Why so early you may ask? Well, gender is known by child as early as a few months. The child begin to associated the difference between the genders, the specific duties of each and even the difference in voice as well as smells. No, do I think you should jump into sexual functions for procreation. I am talking about discussing body parts, their basic functions and safety. Sexual ignorance is a gateway to sexual abuse. If the child can not discuss to his or her parent that "the bad person" is touching their penis, vagina, buttocks or any parts that make them feel "funny" then there is a problem. Using nicknames is a NO NO..these pet names are used as cover ups and makes its easier for predators. If a child tells that someone is playing with their Kitty cat or touching their pocketbook is easier to overlook versus using the word vagina. Boys don't have wee wee's, hotdogs, ding dongs or other pet names. They have a penis.

Talk about sex to your children, when they get older tell them what your values are, but be aware. Sometimes our values are not the values of our children. It's what we want for them not what they are going to do. Pregnancy can happens as earlier as 9 years old. I know, that's young, but hey it happens. Was there bad parenting involved? Some would state yes, some would state no. The blame game is too late now as the child is now a young mother and if proper steps were taken it could have been prevented. I see its as parents values were not the child's and protection is always better then none. We place a lot of responsibility on our children to "do the right thing" when we know "doing the right thing" is really hard and sometime nearly impossible for the child.

As a parents. it's our job to provide our children with the proper tools for life- whether that be teachings of abstinence, birth control, a condom (please teach how to put on-no good if they don't know how use), or all of the above. I feel and stated I feel that always having a plan B for your child during this time is safer. So what others think, those "others" will not have to take care of the child and baby or have make a decision to abort.

So talk to your child find out what they know about sex, you maybe surprised what they tell you. They know how little brother or sister got here. And please tell the truth because lying in the beginning lead to lying in the end. So what do you think is the proper age to beginning talking about sex to you child? Is it topic that should be delivered gender specific? (males talk to males, females to females)


trooppetrie said...

thank you for your comment on blog frog. I cannot wait to get my boys in counseling to make sure I am doing the right things

kemarias said...

This is very good advice. Although some single mothers have to take on the task and deal with their little boys. I taught my kids very young I think starting around 5 yrs old. The reason being is your children have to be aware of life. Some circumstances cause you to have to put them in daycare and private homes. My daughters learned about their vaginas early.I gave my son talks along with my nephews. They went through school and never became pregnant. Contrary to what friends were doing and also the neighborhood they grew up in. Just straight talk and not over complicating it. Also you give reminders along the way. :)

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