Friday, June 24, 2011

Two Faced...Am I?..Nah

Two Face
So are we teaching our children to be two-faced? What's two faced..Well it's like the DC comic character

We have a good side and a bad side but it's determined by a flip of a coin (or more a mere thought) Or more like that we present one way in public but in reality our feelings are completely opposite.

Now I was presented with this situation with one of my kids. The child was with me as we were traveling to a local restaurant. I was making my way over in the turning lane to make my turn (signal clicking an all) when a guy who wanted to turn more than me, cut me off and turned. Now the child (14 years old) look at me and said, "Now that was messed up, you should blow your horn at him and let him know what's up." Now I have a decision to make, react to the jerk or be an example. Now being a male, with a younger male I have to show I'm Alpha male right, protect my rep and let the other driver know I'm not to be messed with. But as a parent I also need to teach this little guy that you don't handle conflict with violence. So "coin flip" I do the right thing and respond " I know this guy was being a real jerk, but it's not so important that I have to make a scene. This can lead to an altercation, police involvement and possible legal actions all for What? Nothing, our time is more important than his so I'll let it pass." Now the young man looked at me bewildered, I smiled,  we parked, went in, and enjoyed our meal.  

 Now I feel that we all have our Two Faced moments and often these show when were are put under a state of duress. And I find this normal. We are faced sometime with situations that you have to turn to the "dark side" and do what's in your best interest..say for survival (sitting in precinct, facing 10 years in prison-question asked who did it-Tell or no-no brainer right?) But then there are times that we choose to be bad and just because it's easier and we don't consider the consequence or who's watching. 

As parents we teach our children to be morally good, to tell the truth always and to face the consequences of our actions regardless if they loose a privilege, get grounded or receive a spanking, but as Adults we do not do the same. Why?

"shrugging shoulders"

Well maybe because we feel that it's in our best interest to act a certain way.."Hey YOU can 't expect me to allow THAT guy to DO that to me right? I have  rep to protect. "
Or maybe that little white lie want hurt we tell our significant you look so beautiful in that outfit while thinking.."uh I really don't think you should wear that outside the house."

Regardless of our reasoning, we are teaching our children to be two faced. To protect themselves and if it requires a little white lie or back stab~Hey that's the way it is.  You have to survive in this dog eat dog world~ right? So I ask is it ok to teach our children to be two faced? And If not why? 


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