The above questions are presented to me regularly by parents I work with. And I give them same answer each time-"because you are not listening to them." The parent would then stop look at me in bewilderment and wait for an explanation. I inform them that just as adults want to be heard, children do as well. They begin in life requesting our attention (crying) and will continue this until they leave the home. And as parents, we will have to learn to listen to them. This can be hard to do as they will present things that you do not like or understand but it is required to develop the relationship. So how do you start your children to listening to you?
1. Ask then what the problem really is? This may take time and the child may not really know what's occurring or even the issues
2. Make sure you remain consistence with your request/demand of the child. Remember You are the parent and are responsible for the child's wellbeing
3. Make the consequences meet the crime. just as you would not get life in prison for a simple traffic ticket, your child should not be grounded for weeks for minor infractions
4. When you child talks, be quiet and be an attentive listen, its the unspoken words that really tell you what the child is feeling.
These are just a few of the things you can do to engage and help your child to listen to you. Try these things and let me know what results you receives.