"Yes Dear..Wait what did you Just Say?.."

Sometimes the best ideas come from you better half..And mine gave me a topic for today to blog about.. "Thanks baby..I'll pay You back later.." She found a quick quiz you can take that will find your language of love. The quiz was developed by Dr  Gary Chapman  and is a easy test. Just select your profile take the quiz and compare/discuss your results.   

My results were:

Love Language Scores: 7 Words of Affirmation 7 Quality Time 2 Receiving Gifts 11 Acts of Service 3 Physical Touch Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score:  The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It's not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you. The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don't affect you very much on an emotional level.

Acts of Service Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter.

And I noticed that my language have changed over the years of being married. This also explains why I react to certain things when presented not only by my family but at work as well. I'm an Action person and I really do believe actions speak louder than words.

Often we wonder why our love ones don't feel truly loved and appreciated when we are expressing ourselves to them. And this is another tool to help us speak their language. 


       Why is it important to speak their language? Because effective communication is a key part of remaining within a healthy relationship for a starter.

I often talk to my parents about speaking their significant language. I refer to it as (person's name + ese) for an example my language is Jamesese (James-ease) my wife's is Sharonese (Shah-ron-ease). note: It have taken me years to learn this language, (it took a lot of late nights, tears, "I'm sorries" and gifts) I'm not fluent but darn near close..love you baby.

And it's important to learn their language so that when they say " Ok, I'll do it" you know they really mean " Ok , it will get done after I finish this show and the children are gone to bed, because I can't complete the task with the little ones running around begging and getting in the way." Or the answer is given " I'll be back in a minute." You know what is meant " I'll be back in a hour or so."

Learning your significant language not only cuts down on communication time (not that we need to talk to each other less) but it also expresses your love, dedication to the relationship, and makes it a whole lot easier to sleep at night.   So what do you think?.. Take the test (link below) , post your results if you like, and answer these questions: Do you feel the test was correct? Do you feel your significant speaks your language? Is it important to speak the correct language and why?  Do you speak your children language?

Look forward in discussion..Until next time

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Unconditional Love..Hmm I Don't think So

Well Today I dropped by around lunch time (GA time) to read a discussion started by Laura of Finding My Soul Mate Before I Retire held on MckMama  (which I thoroughly enjoyed by the way) entitled It's About Time regarding the treatment of GTL and the treatment there of.  You can read the thread for all the details. However what caught my attention was the use of  phrase Unconditional Love. I understand that there are people that sincerely believe that we can unconditionally love, but I do not. I feel that everyone have a condition to their love. By definition unconditional love is the not conditional limited strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties or attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers or affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interest  as quoted by Merriam-dictionary.  

I feel that all people have a limited or condition to their love. They may feel that they can love regardless, but when presented with certain situations, issues, or problems that unconditional love become conditional. For an example, parents state that they love their children unconditionally, that no matter what their children do they will always love them and this maybe true (according to their perception). However, there are things that our children do that will cause us to question this feeling, to wonder what occurred to challenge their feeling and this is their condition. These feelings usually occur when your core beliefs are truly challenged. Such would you love your children unconditionally if one child killed the other? What if you come upon the fact that one child molested your neighbor's child or your younger child? What if the child was in love with a sex, gender, or race that you don't approve? What if your child decides that your not worth their time anymore and disown you? Would you still love them unconditionally, to accept the child and his/hers decision without second thought? Or would you think about this and rationalize that you still love them but not their behavior?  

What about the unconditional love we suppose to have for our significant. Do we stay or go if the significant cheats (but whatever definition that we decide)? What if the significant brought home an unwanted visitor (child or disease)? And do we continue to love or significant if their physical body changes drastically, not just to big or little what if disabilities strike when your young not old? Do you still love when the person can't love when they can't love like the original agreement?

Even higher beings have condition to their love. Each religion provide a guide for what you have to do to gain favor in the higher beings sight. Yes, some state that your very existence is a proof of the unconditional love, but then state to continue to live in his favor you must follow and worship him (the condition). I'm not saying that this is wrong, I stating that life require conditions as well as love.

We as parents set these conditions when we instill our belief, rules (spoken and unspoken), values in our off spring. These are develop, passed down, and enforces by the conditions society and biology place on us. Unfortunately these conditions can not be avoided and if someone does these individuals are labeled a sinners, psychologically unstable, psychopaths, and social deviants.  

So lets stop fooling ourselves and accept that life have conditions as well as our love. What you think?